I swear, this happened

I wanted to make a deposit to a friend’s bank account after regular banking hours, so I was exploring my options. After googling, I came across articles on BPI allowing cardless transactions on their ATMs. So I called the BPI call center (long distance pa ah!) to clarify. And this was how the conversation went, with, I swear,  no embellishment from me:

Me: Hi, I just wanted to inquire on your cardless transactions. What transactions would those be?

BPI Agent: Ma’am? What do you mean?

Me: On some of your ATMs, there’s a sign that says “Cardless transactions accepted here”

BPI Agent: On what type of ATM, ma’am?

Me: Huh? What do you mean?

BPI Agent: We have different types of ATMs, ma’am.

Me: (How the heck was I supposed to know what type of ATM?) Ummmm. A regular ATM?

BPI Agent: Ma’am, you need a card to use the ATM machine.

If I could shove the agent's face into this ATM, I would

Me: But BPI allows cardless transactions in some of its ATMs.

BPI Agent: No we don’t, ma’am.

Me: Can’t I make a deposit or pay bills without my ATM? I’m looking at an article now that says I can.

BPI Agent: No, ma’am. You need an ATM card for those transactions.

Me: I am currently looking at a picture of one your ATMs with that sign. I’ll send the link to you if I could.

BPI Agent: We don’t have that capability to allow transactions without a card.

Me: Yes you do (rather forcefully).

Complete silence for about 15 seconds

Me: Hello?

BPI Agent: Let me check, Ma’am. Can I put you on hold?

Me: (Do I have a friggin’ choice?) Okay.

BPI Agent: Ma’am, you need a card to be able to use the ATM.

Me: Then what does that sign mean? Why do you have that sign that says “Cardless transactions accepted” if you need a card anyway?

BPI Agent: Yes, ma’am, I know the sign says that, but in reality, you need your ATM card

Me: Arrgggh (then I hung up).

I know being a call-center agent is a stressful job, with callers being irate and rude, but can you really blame the callers when the person who answers is downright stupid? I know I’m being harsh, but I think I’m entitled.

So, anyway, I called back and thankfully got a different agent who actually had a brain. She confirmed that yes, they do have cardless transactions. However, that confirmation didn’t really help, because the cardless deposits don’t get credited to the account real time. So all that stress for naught. Arrgggh.