Look, I’ve already let you get away with A LOT of things.
Chuck pimping Blair to his douchey uncle for a hotel. Rufus and Lily completely forgetting their son in Boston exists. You forgetting that the characters should actually still be in school. Serena getting into freakin’ Brown. Vanessa’s existence (the wardrobe I blame on Eric Daman). And for even suggesting DAIR was a possibility.
And then this season started. I have only seen one full episode this season, and part of the reason I saw it was to see Blair wear Mich Dulce’s hat in her bridesmaid tryouts. The whole Blair pregnancy is just… wrong. Really? That’s what you’ve got planned for Blair all along, to be knocked up by 20/21? Pants-averse Jenny Humphrey is somewhere un-preggo but the Queen Bee has a bun in the oven?
I was convinced that the you guys have lost it, that you don’t know your audience (although the brief exploration of Dair proved that already) but I still had to admit I was curious how you’ll play the whole pregnancy story out. So I still had a vague interest in the show.
But then I saw this and am now considering boycotting the show for good:
Don’t you know Blair at all?!?! I’d think you would because, you know, you created her. But if you did, you would know that:
- She would never wear that gown. Even the girl’s DREAMS are impeccably styled, for cryin’ out loud and therefore she would never wear an unimaginative, uninspired wedding gown. Especially not one by the same designer as Kim Kardashian’s wedding dress. Blair wouldn’t even wear this dress if she was marrying Dan Humphrey, much less to her own ROYAL WEDDING to the heir to the Monegasque throne. You know, Grace Kelly’s grandson? No. Just, no.
- That hair is just atrocious. As loathe as I am to say it, it’s reminiscent of Jenny “Release the Kracken” Humphrey. And Blair would rather ship Dorota back to Poland first before she wears/does something that would be associated with Jenny. Limp curls and split ends have no place in Blair’s life and they definitely don’t have a place in her royal wedding.
- No way in hell will the wedding be held in a place other than Monaco. This is Blair, GG writers, and she will never pass up a chance to (1) honor tradition and (2) rub it in people’s faces that her life is better than everyone else’s. So of course she would have her wedding in the palace at Monte Carlo complete with those costumed flower girls. She would NOT have it at some random street in NYC that they didn’t even manage to cordon off. I mean, come on, there are other cars parked along the street and pedestrians! Pedestrians! The horror.
So unless this is a dream sequence AND Blair does end up with Chuck and not the lispy prince Louis after all, I’m swearing off Gossip Girl for good. Not when you, the writers and your colleagues (costume designer, hair & makeup) can do this to their best character on the show (they can do whatever they want with Serena).
But *sigh* who am I kidding? I’m still gonna watch.
Photos by Jackson Lee/Splash News via NYMag.com